Sunday, May 15, 2005

TERRY FOSTER'S LIST OF HIGH FIVES

Here is something I used to do way back in the day with the newspaper. It was popular with the people, not with the editors. It is Terry Foster's list of high fives. It is a concept former Free Press columnist Mike Downey let me steal. I mean borrow.


Five things in Detroit sports you can guarantee every year.
1. The Pistons will get in trouble with the Indiana Pacers during the playoffs and Rasheed Wallace guarantees a victory.
2. Lions fans call for the head of their starting quarterback.
3. The Tigers journey through another losing season.
4. Some unknown goalie becomes a world beater against the Red Wings in the playoffs.
5. Someone swears Barry Sanders is returning to the Lions to play football.

Five Most Popular Current Athletes in Detroit (Red Wings don't count. They are not playing)
1. Ben Wallace (Pistons) People love the fro, the braids and his work ethic. He is the heart and soul of the Pistons.
2. Pudge Rodriguez (Tigers) He is trying to work out of a batting slump, but he helped revive baseball in Detroit.
3. Jeff Garcia (Lions) The Lions backup quarterback always makes this list -- until he actually plays.
4. Tayshaun Prince (Pistons) He is the skinny guy with the phat game that gets better every year.
5. Joey Harrington (Lions) The Lions starting quarterback always makes this list -- including least popular athlete also.

Five reasons why the new Joe Louis Arena should be located in Corktown
1. It would be a big boom for the businesses that used to thrive on Tigers game days.
2. Do we really need to see a shell of a stadium fall apart before our eyes?
3. Nemo's cheeseburgers, fries and a beer. What a great way to begin or end a Red Wings night at the arena.
4. Hopefully they will be smart enough to build a new arena. And of course we in the media are hoping they remember to build a press box this time.
5. A new JLA means a new Cobo Center where the city can continue to attract large conventions.

Five people who could coach the Pistons next season?
1. Flip Saunders: The former Timberwolves coach is a solid guy and could get players' attention for a few years. Odds: 5-1
2. Maurice Cheeks: There were problems in Portland. But coaching the Jailblazers is like coaching a prison team. No one could succeed. Odds: 9-1.
3. Brendan Malone: Why not? He has coached every other NBA team. It is only a matter of time before he coaches the Pistons for a month or two. Odds: 20-1.
4. Bill Laimbeer: You never know. What if the Shock win the WNBA title again and everybody else says no to the Pistons? Odds: 35-1.
5. Larry Brown: The guy made a decision not to return well before his current health problems came out. But he can always change his mind if he finds a miracle cure. Odds: 50-1.

Five more guarantees in Detroit that Rasheed forgot
1. Michigan State will lose five or six football games every season.
2. Michigan will lose two football games everyone will swear they should have won.
3. The Lions will miss the playoffs.
4. Some television crew will do a bar story where hundreds of screaming fans act fools and blabber their team will win even if they are down 50 with two minutes to go.
5. The big names for the Red Wings will never score enough points to satisfy fans in the playoffs.

Five reasons Matt Millen and Steve Mariucci will return in 2006 even if the Lions lose in 2005.
1. They work for the Ford family, which has the longest rope in sports history.
2. They can always blame youth for Lion mistakes.
3. They can always blame injuries, like every other NFL team does.
4. They can always blame Joey Harrington even if receivers drop passes.
5. They can continue to blame the untimely retirement of Hall of Fame running back Barry Sanders.

Five reasons the Pistons are in trouble against the Pacers
1. They did not respect their opponent.
2. Rasheed Wallace is running his mouth better than running the floor.
3. Right when the Pacers were about to cry uncle in Game 2, the Pistons let up off the throttle.
4. The NBA wants to see this Reggie Miller ride go as long as possible.
5. Any time you allow Jeff Foster to become a world beater you are not playing hard enough.

Five things I wish could happen before Super Bowl XL hits town.
1. Permanent casinos with hotels. That would add some spice to the place.
2. A total revamping of Woodward. It used to be the most important street in Detroit -- not a series of abandoned buildings and empty lots.
3. The Book Cadillac Hotel returns: Back in the day it is where all professional athletes used to stay when playing in Detroit.
4. A return of the Lindell A.C.: What is Detroit without its most famous sports bar?
5. 70 degree weather in February

Five words to leave you with
I need a raise NOW!!

2 Comments:

Blogger Ian C. said...

Terry, since you broke the story on Larry Brown coming to Detroit, are we free to read into your "Five people who could coach the Pistons next season" and assume it'll be Flip or Mo Cheeks?

3:09 PM

 
Blogger T Foster said...

I don't have confirmation of who will be the new Pistons coach. I just think it will be one of those two guys. As soon as I find out I will post on this blog.

6:09 PM

 

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